Someone left this bottle of wine at my house after a party. I hope they meant to leave it, because I can’t remember who it belongs to, so I’m opening it and giving it a try . . .
Unoaked Cabernet? What’s up with that?
OK, I get the premise. Without adulterations from oak, you get a more pure reflection of the grape variety. In theory.
Strike One: Aarrggh! It has a synthetic cork. I hate synthetic corks. If you’re going to use a cork to close your wine, use a real one. Or use a screw cap. I’ve made my peace with screw-caps.
Strike Two: It’s Cabernet Sauvignon, and it’s in a clear bottle. I get it, clear is pure. But it feels wrong.
Seems a little thin in the glass — it’s almost too bright. Nose is medicinal and metallic, like someone drizzled Cherry-flavored Nyquil over an SOS pad. I let my 11-year old daughter give it a sniff (yes, I’m that mom) and she said it smelled like a ball of aluminum foil. Truth, out of the mouth of tweens.
Strike Three: It tastes bad. I’m flashing back to cherry-flavored fluoride treatments at the dentist. The ones with the foam trays. Shudder. An instant headache behind my left eyeball. Someone bring me a Bud Light.
Geez, I feel like one of those soul-crushing judges on an episode of Top Chef. I really hate to hate wine . . . really. So I will say this about Simply Naked: the little grape on the label is adorable!
Salud!
HA! Awesome post. I’ve had wine like that, but don’t think there was any noble purpose behind it. It just tasted bad…
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Thanks for stopping by! Maroon and orange . . . Hokie fan? :o)
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Really good analysis. Enjoyed reading it!
What a pity that the wine was so bad. I agree with you that synthetic cork is a no-go. Same goes for a clear bottle.
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Thanks, vinoinlove . . . good to hear from you again! :o)
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Great post! && Great site I am looking forward to reading your wine recommendations. I am always looking for great wine!
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Thanks so much, life+23! Glad you stopped by and said hello!
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I like the ending: “The little grape on the label is adorable.”
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Thanks, Mom! (and she really is my mom!) :o)
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Did you finish the bottle or pour it out? Be honest now!
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Down the drain . . . my garbage disposal had a little frat party! :o)
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True, it is adorable but the name? I think it’s brilliant!!! Of course according to someone who does not drink red wine (strike four and yes, I’m that woman! ;-)) As to your daughter, I personally think that kids’ nose should be educated as much as their brain. 🙂
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Thanks, Francesca! I love it . . . nose education! :o)
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Strike four – I thought the grape on the label looked more like a plum?
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Agree. It was a bit of a reach. I kinda thought it looked like an olive. A cute olive, though. ;o)
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Awesome review!!! 🙂
I totally loved the descriptors (“cherry-flavored Nyquil over an SOS pad” is genius!) and the effort to come up with at least one good thing about it 😀
Anyway, one of the reasons for not using clear glass for reds is that tinted glass helps protecting them from the harmful effects of the light during the aging process, so… what were they thinking???
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Ah-ha, Stefano! I *knew* there was an academic reason for why the clear glass felt all wrong! :o)
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Oh wow, you got me with nyquil, ugh!!!Then the cherry fluoride treatment, oh my!! Sounds bad, really bad.
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Thanks for stopping by Suzanne! Cherry fluoride is just wrong in a wine, isn’t it? Salud!
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Loved reading this and thanks for the follow. Look forward to reading more of your blog, I got a real kick out of this one. Factual and fun – got more than one giggle at the expense of this failed cab.
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Thanks so much . . . looking forward to your blog, as well! Glad you enjoyed my Cab-tastrophe! (Love that, btw)! Salud.
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or should i say Cab-tastrophe? (thank you, I’m here all week…try the veal)
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