Yesterday, I took my teenage daughter and a couple of her friends shopping at Tysons Corner Center (aka, the 4th Circle of Hell). I can’t decide if I’m awesome or bat-scheiße crazy. Probably the latter. But, on the plus side, if you bring friends for your teenage daughter to shop with, you don’t actually have to shop. [Pause for celebration.] You don’t have to go into a single one of the dark places (those insipid Americrombie-ish teen stores that are all at once dark, loud, and intensely cologned). Note to the dark places — would it kill you to put some chairs outside of the dressing rooms?? If you want me to spend money in your store, at least try to make me comfortable while my eardrums bleed in the dark.
So, I got a pass on actual shopping. I parked myself in the mall pit with a cup of tea and studied for my upcoming CSW exam. I told the girls to text me every hour or so and let me know they weren’t dead or kidnapped (so I got texts throughout the day that said, we are not dead or kidnapped). During breaks in memorizing the AVAs of Napa County, I tried to come up with some words for today, and settled on these words from Joan Davis, a comedienne from the 1940s. She was a performer on a broadway-revue show called George White’s Scandals. She also starred in a 1950s television sitcom called I Married Joan. The premise is familiar — scatterbrained housewife, exasperated husband (Thurston Howell, before he was Thurston Howell), antics ensue. I Married Joan was on during the same years as I Love Lucy. Guess which show was more popular?
Anyway, Joan gave us the perfect words for the penultimate day of 2015:
Happy New Year!