Today’s words (and yes, I know it’s not Wednesday) come to us from the 1958 page-turner, The Commonsense Book of Wine by Leon Adams.
I was standing in line at the post office yesterday (there’s always a line at my post office). And I’m always behind people who have super-complicated postal business. People who want to compare every conceivable postal rate before deciding how to mail a package, and then agonizing over whether they want to save $1 or get the package to its destination a day sooner. Flat rate boxes, people. Use them.
And then there was the lady with two gigantic boxes she wanted to ship overseas, neither of which were taped shut. (Urgh. This is going to take forever.) She was genuinely surprised when the postal clerk said he wasn’t going to tape them for her, and that she’d have to step out of line and handle that task before she could mail the boxes. Oh well, at least that was entertaining.
I just needed stamps.
Ordinarily, I would just order stamps online (and skip the post office line altogether), but I needed them immediately. I already missed the boat on mailing my holiday cards, so now they’re Happy New Year cards. And if I don’t get the damn things in the mail, they’re going to be Groundhog Day cards.
Ahhh, finally my turn. I asked for a roll of stamps and specified I’d like the self-stick variety. The postal clerk looked at me like I had an extra head. “Um, we don’t even make stamps that aren’t self-stick anymore.” Apparently, I need to buy stamps more often.
Which brings me to today’s words . . .
I’m trying to remember the last time I licked the back of a stamp. College, maybe? I don’t recall stamps tasting bad, but wine is definitely better.