My WSET Diploma Case Study exam on the South African wine industry is tomorrow morning. Save for my daughter’s indoor soccer game on Saturday night, I spent the entire weekend sequestered inside, studying. And I’ve officially reached my saturation point. Even if I wanted to, I cannot absorb one more statistic about the South African wine industry. My brain is mush.
A good way to tell you’ve reached your saturation point is when you have the dream. You know, the classic unprepared-for-an-exam dream. Every once in a while, I still have the dream about college (which makes me wonder if college scarred me on some subliminal level). My favorite dream is always the one where I arrive to take an exam for a class that I never attended. Good times.
So, my wine dream.
I arrived to take my case study exam, and discovered that instead of South Africa, we would be taking a practical exam on (wait for it) . . . home economics.
What in the wide world of hell?
I looked around, expecting everyone else to be as stupefied as I was. But I was the only one who was unprepared. Shocker, right?
Our first challenge was jewelry making. We had to refashion a coin ring using nothing but rocks. Do I at least get a chisel?
Then there was the cut and carve candle making challenge. Do you remember these candles? That’s what we were supposed to be making. I made a gray blob with a wick.
Next, we had to break down and identify all of the olfactory components of Old Spice cologne, Swagger flavor. Cinnamon with a hint of frankincense, thankyouverymuch. Nailed it.
But perhaps the best and weirdest part of the whole dream was the absence of a blind wine tasting . . . in favor of a blind cheese tasting. Yes, cheese. We had to identify the variety of each cheese, the country of origin, and method of production. Ready, set . . . GO!!
Yep, I’m losing it.
I’d better go study some more.